


Partners In Crime

by orphan_account



Category: Bandom, Twenty One Pilots
Genre: (but not really), Bank Robbery, Crimes & Criminals, M/M, josh is really resourceful, tyler hates josh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-17
Updated: 2016-08-17
Packaged: 2018-08-09 10:20:45
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,146
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7798069
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"You remember the first time we met? You stole my heart."</p><p>"I also stole your wallet."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Partners In Crime

Josh was restless.

He was pacing around the cramped apartment they had rented for the month, fingers fidgeting with anything and everything he came across. He’d tried watching TV but that was too boring, reading was too time consuming, and Tyler was ignoring him because he hated him.

“I’m not ignoring you because I hate you! I mean, I _do_ hate you, but I’m just really busy right now.”

Josh needed to stop thinking out loud. “Yeah, you really do.”

The point was, Josh needed to do something.

“I need to do something— like get really drunk or rob a bank or eat a gallon of ice cream.”

No response. 

“Come on, Ty! You and me against the world!”

“Nice try, but we’re not robbing Walmart again.”

To be fair, that was a disaster. They had originally planned to go for Costco, but Josh forgot his membership card at home so they dropped in at a nearby Walmart instead. Let’s just say that old women are savages and leave it at that.

“I said rob a _bank_ , didn’t I?”

Tyler paused in whatever stupid and pointless thing he was doing that was taking up so much time (“I’m doing our finances!”) and considered it, eventually shrugging his shoulders. “We’ve got our flight to Italy on Friday, so it might be nice to have some spending money for SkyMall.”

“Yes!”

“Okay, I understand you’re excited but could you _please_ put the gun down?”

 

(⌐■_■)–︻╦╤─ (⌐■_■)–︻╦╤─

 

“After we rob the bank, do you want to stop for ice cream?”

“Josh, are you being serious right now?”

“… no?”

Tyler mentally slapped himself. “I wish I had brought Mark instead.”

“Why him? What makes him better than me?”

“Well, he doesn’t have a criminal record, for starters.”

“The only reason I got caught was because _someone_ knocked me out when they threw the money bag at my face!”

They were sitting in a car across the street from the bank, waiting until right before closing time to start the bust. Their plan was simple: go in, point guns and yell a lot, then get the hell out of there with the cash. In and out, quick and easy, right?

“Babe, don’t get jealous. He’s a cool guy, but I mean, push comes to shove, I’d sell him out faster than you can say tax evasion.”

Josh smiled, leaning in to kiss Tyler before moving back and pulling his neon green alien mask over his face. “Let’s do this.” Tyler kissed him over the mask once more, hard and quick, before zipping his skeleton hoodie up all the way so his own face was covered. 

Nothing could go wrong with such a solid plan, so of course everything went wrong. In the beginning it went well enough, everyone following orders and quickly putting the money in the bags. Unfortunately, Tyler and Josh hadn’t realized that the FBI headquarters was right down the street, so the building was surrounded within minutes and the two boys were trapped.

“You’re an idiot,” Tyler hissed, obviously angry. “‘Let’s rob a bank! How about the one right next to the _FBI?_ ’ Really, babe?”

“Look, I never claimed to be even marginally intelligent—”

“Honestly, I’m surprised that you even know what the word ‘marginally’ means.”

“Okay, wow. First of all, _rude_. Second of all, I think that you just need to accept that if you bring me with you, the worst thing possible will happen at all times.”

“Whatever. Just— next time you decide to drag down your reputation, could you maybe try to not bring me down with you?”

They were interrupted by the sound of breaking glass and the thuds of heavy footsteps. They looked at each other, simultaneously mouthing, “SWAT,” before rushing to the offices behind the tellers. They quickly traversed through the mazes of cubicles and copy rooms, eventually ending up in a break room toward the back of the building where they barricaded the door. Josh pulled his mask off and Tyler did the same, angrily stomping up to the man and jabbing a finger into his chest.

“We’re about to die, so this is supposed to be the part where I say that despite our differences, I’m glad to have known you… but honestly, I still despise you and want you to know that I consider this completely your fault!” He whispered furiously, looking as though he were ready to kill Josh himself.

“Listen, baby, I can still get us out of this!”

“You better, or else I will kick you out of this relationship.”

Josh wasn’t listening though, as he was too busy frantically searching through the small kitchen area. Tyler leaned against the wall, watching with curiosity as Josh gathered tin foil, a cold pack, and some sugar, as well as a small pot. He poured the contents of the cold pack as well as some sugar into the pot before sticking it in the microwave. While the strange mixture was being heated, making sure to occasionally open the door and stir it with one of those wooden coffee sticks, he molded the tin foil into a bowl of sorts. He then poured the mixture, which had liquefied, into the tin foil and stuck it in the freezer before turning to Tyler and smiling widely.

“And that’s going to help us how?”

“Just wait,” Josh said, but as he spoke the sound of footsteps fell heavy in the hallway outside the door. Tyler and Josh fell silent, staring at each other with wide eyes

Josh grabbed the tin foil out of the freezer and pulled the strange mixture, which had solidified somewhat, out of the bowl. He took out a lighter from his pocket and motioned for Tyler to stand ready by the door, which he then opened a crack. Before anyone could notice, he lit the strange thing on fire and slid it across the floor, and Tyler stared in shock as smoke billowed out from it. 

Josh grabbed Tyler’s hand and pulled him along, making sure to stay down and out of sight. They snuck around the perimeter of the room until they reached a window that opened out onto a fire escape. They managed to open it and wriggle through the small opening without being noticed, quickly making their way down the stairs and into the deserted back alley. 

They didn’t speak until they had managed to successfully slip around the cops and make it back to their apartment, Josh collapsing on the couch while Tyler stared at him in awe. 

“Okay, wow, that was actually really impressive and I’m kind of turned on right now.”

Josh grinned. “You should see what I can do with a mini fridge and a Bluetooth speaker.”

 

(⌐■_■)–︻╦╤─ (⌐■_■)–︻╦╤─

 

(If Tyler got flushed when Josh bought both a mini fridge and Bluetooth speaker from SkyMall, well, that was nobody’s business.)


End file.
